2 posts from February 2007

I'm the last person to point the finger and accuse someone of sexism, okay? But after a self-proclaimed feminist (let's call her Shichelle Mocked) condescendingly called me "Expert" when I pointed out a huge, potentially financially costly mistake she had made in the course of our correspondence (which she initiated), I'm starting to wonder if there is any way for a woman to know something, and not have any question about whether or not she is correct, without people labelling her as arrogant.

I try to state things in cuddly language for people who seem like they might take correction badly, but it's against my better judgement to do so. ("Tuning in" to peoples' moods, then acting and speaking - or not - accordingly, is something I grew up doing, much to my detriment, and it's a habit I am actively trying to shed.) I honestly cannot imagine these people taking correction as badly from a man. I am well aware that I can come across as not overly concerned with how my words affect people, and when I do it is precisely because I'm not overly concerned with how my words affect people. When I want you to feel stupid, believe me, you'll know it. But when I'm practically cringing as I point out that you're about to screw yourself into the ground, it's not because I'm 'arrogant'. It's because I know what the hell I'm talking about, and I care enough to look out for you.

No good deed goes unpunished and all that.